Toxic Relationships: Why Justin and Selena were never gonna work out

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LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 20: Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber arrives at the 2011 American Music Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on November 20, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – NOVEMBER 20: Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber arrives at the 2011 American Music Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on November 20, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)


By Lyka Mae P. Chiang

I can still hear the high-pitched voices and deafening weep of our generation’s 13-year old selves since the news about pop sensation Justin Bieber getting engaged to girlfriend Hailey Baldwin outraged the entire online community. For crying out loud, no one saw that coming. No one. Not even his on-off-now-officially-ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez.

LONDON, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 04: Selena Gomez attends The Fashion Awards 2017 in partnership with Swarovski at Royal Albert Hall on December 4, 2017 in London, England. (Photo by Samir Hussein/Samir Hussein/WireImage)

LONDON, ENGLAND – DECEMBER 04: Selena Gomez attends The Fashion Awards 2017 in partnership with Swarovski at Royal Albert Hall on December 4, 2017 in London, England. (Photo by Samir Hussein/Samir Hussein/WireImage)

We all stan two teenage Hollywood singers who fell deeply in love with each other, too deep they reached the end of the tunnel and it suffocated them. And the only thing they could do was find the way out.

They had their own issues. Justin was dealing with mental health illness, and Selena, well, she was not in her best shape as well. We can assume they wanted to work things out. After all, they’ve invested too much of their time and feelings in each other. I think all long-term relationships aren’t as fragile as what we may think, and the thing is, in every relationship that goes down the drain is a thorough thinking and tough decision making behind. You don’t just choose to fall out of love. You probably ask yourself countless times, “is the pain still worth it?” before actually coming up to the conclusion that it’s high time you let each other go.

But the real question here is,was it worth it for Justin and Selena? I’m not the one to speak on behalf of them, but hey, I think it’s pretty obvious that it wasn’t. It’s a long history between them, and we don’t really know what was happening behind the scene. You see, relationships aren’t all hugs, kisses, and butterflies in your stomach. It’s so much more than that. And by the look of it, although the love was still there, they just weren’t happy anymore. It seemed as though they were struggling to deal with their issues while being together. They couldn’t fix each other anymore, and they badly needed to fix themselves, and that’s just what they did.

Singer-songwriter Justin Bieber waits onstage during the 58th Annual Grammy music Awards in Los Angeles February 15, 2016. AFP PHOTO/ ROBYN BECK / AFP / ROBYN BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

Singer-songwriter Justin Bieber waits onstage during the 58th Annual Grammy music Awards in Los Angeles February 15, 2016. AFP PHOTO/ ROBYN BECK / AFP / ROBYN BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

Toxic, toxic

We may not knowingly admit it now, but there comes a certain age when you realize that relationships do become toxic. When you enter one, you’ll be on cloud nine that you might even ask yourself, “do I deserve this much happiness?” But as time goes by, you’ll face several hindrances on your path—and it doesn’t even end with marriage. It’s a lifelong commitment. Once you commit to someone, then you’re committed to him as long as you both live. And the hindrances shall stay as long as the relationship stands. It may sound fearful, but these hindrances are actually what makes the both of you stronger. They measure how far you can go for the person you love. However, the sad truth is not all lovebirds can overcome these hindrances, and that’s why they break them instead.

Perhaps you’re wondering, “how do you know if the relationship has become toxic?” For starter, ask yourself if you’re still in your best shape. You might like yourself when you’re together, but when he’s not there, do you actually like yourself? Does he bring out the best in you? Do you constantly grow and look forward to becoming the best version that you can be? If your answer to these questions is yes, then good for you, you’re not in the Justin and Selena state of a relationship. Otherwise, you may have to rethink your life decisions and look for issues you can fix before your relationship vanishes into thin air. ZH

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